1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,000 [Audience cheering] 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:40,437 --> 00:00:46,789 [Beatboxing] 5 00:01:05,751 --> 00:01:08,583 - If you're born and raised in the D make some noise! 6 00:01:08,583 --> 00:01:15,756 And give it up, from Hollywood to the hood, for my brother Mike Epps. 7 00:01:15,756 --> 00:01:17,756 [Upbeat music] 8 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:26,465 Alright, alright! Cabbage! Cabbage patch! 9 00:01:30,333 --> 00:01:33,706 Papa si! Papa si! Papa si! 10 00:01:36,340 --> 00:01:40,864 Reebok! 11 00:01:41,739 --> 00:01:46,251 - I'm fucking it up. I'm fucking it up. - Stinky legs! 12 00:01:47,625 --> 00:01:49,856 - Stinky legs! Stinky legs! Stinky legs! 13 00:01:49,856 --> 00:01:52,680 Doug E. Fresh y'all, Doug E. Fresh! [Audience cheering] 14 00:01:57,340 --> 00:02:00,099 Big D, Doug E. Fresh. 15 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:10,460 Detroit, what's up! [Audience cheering] 16 00:02:10,469 --> 00:02:13,064 Sit on down! Sit on down! 17 00:02:13,439 --> 00:02:17,365 That *** Doug E. Fresh spit all over my fucking forehead. 18 00:02:18,039 --> 00:02:20,764 [Beatboxing] Goddamn Doug E! 19 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:24,210 One more time for Doug E. Fresh y'all legendary. 20 00:02:25,501 --> 00:02:27,814 That's legendary right there. 21 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:32,949 Man, y'all look good in the government check out here tonight. 22 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:36,099 We in the D goddamn it in the D! 23 00:02:37,881 --> 00:02:41,334 You will get slapped out this motherfucker. 24 00:02:46,164 --> 00:02:48,740 You *** slap midgets, bitches. 25 00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:51,199 Think we are in the D! 26 00:02:52,301 --> 00:02:55,833 I smell gunpowder, money and cologne. 27 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:01,629 Ain't nothing but killers and dealers out here. 28 00:03:03,291 --> 00:03:05,889 I had to come to Detroit and do this. 29 00:03:11,169 --> 00:03:14,764 This is where the Hitsville go down, ain't it, in Hitsville, baby. 30 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,965 That's right, Hitsville. Straight gangster shit around. 31 00:03:19,939 --> 00:03:22,340 That's right, I went over on 7 mile. 32 00:03:22,340 --> 00:03:25,129 That motherfucker need lotion like a motherfucker. 33 00:03:27,110 --> 00:03:29,349 West side! West side! 34 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,277 East side! East side! 35 00:03:36,961 --> 00:03:39,965 Yeah, the police! The police! 36 00:03:41,340 --> 00:03:44,965 You know they in here. "I'm in here. I'm right here. I'm right here!" 37 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,365 Police always hit you with that, "aah!" 38 00:03:49,539 --> 00:03:51,120 Goddamn, it's going down. 39 00:03:51,129 --> 00:03:54,264 Y'all motherfuckers get y'all hair done every day. 40 00:03:57,141 --> 00:04:01,865 Oh, you bitches' toes be fucked-up, but hair be whipped! 41 00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:06,102 You be like, "man, she's cute." Duh duh duh duh 42 00:04:08,139 --> 00:04:09,865 Where's the toe budget at? 43 00:04:13,139 --> 00:04:15,870 Goddamn, it's going down up in this motherfucker right here. 44 00:04:15,870 --> 00:04:18,162 Look at all the married men can't do nothing tonight. 45 00:04:20,639 --> 00:04:22,509 Married men just whispering to himself, 46 00:04:22,519 --> 00:04:26,264 "Goddamn, why did i bring her ass out tonight? 47 00:04:26,939 --> 00:04:30,464 There's some motherfucking stars in here tonight." 48 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,560 You know *** looking out the corner of their eye 49 00:04:33,569 --> 00:04:36,064 every five minutes, looking like this every five minutes. 50 00:04:37,339 --> 00:04:39,365 This is that one right here. 51 00:04:43,726 --> 00:04:44,779 "... looking at the bitch for?" 52 00:04:44,779 --> 00:04:47,865 "***, ain't nobody looking at no bitch." 53 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,139 A man use any excuse to look at a girl. 54 00:04:51,149 --> 00:04:52,860 "She look like your friend Denise." 55 00:04:52,870 --> 00:04:54,370 "She don't look like my motherfucking friend. 56 00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:55,964 Look at the bitch again." 57 00:04:57,939 --> 00:04:59,189 "You got a purse like that." 58 00:04:59,189 --> 00:05:00,689 "Look at the bitch again. 59 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,122 I ain't got no motherfucking purse like that." 60 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,964 Married men act totally different when they by themselves, don't they? 61 00:05:09,639 --> 00:05:11,620 You see them with their wife. "What's up, Tony?" 62 00:05:11,620 --> 00:05:13,464 "Hey, man, how's everything going, brother? 63 00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:16,019 Oh, just taking it easy, hanging out with the old lady. 64 00:05:16,029 --> 00:05:17,540 All right, god bless you. Take it easy now. 65 00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:19,050 All right." 66 00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:22,964 Be like, "that *** ain't like that!" 67 00:05:25,540 --> 00:05:27,149 You see him by himself. "What's up, Tony?" 68 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:32,464 "Hey, where's the bitches at, ***?! Where's the bitch ass?" 69 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:34,230 "There your girl." "Where? Where she at? 70 00:05:34,230 --> 00:05:36,693 Where she at? She just pulled up? She's outside?" 71 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,264 Every man in here is scared of their fucking girl. 72 00:05:42,939 --> 00:05:45,365 These motherfucking women are detectives. 73 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,665 Just when you think you've slipped, and they got your ass. 74 00:05:50,540 --> 00:05:52,040 That's right. 75 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,865 They'll tell you they're going to bed and get up and come looking for you. 76 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,764 "I'm going to bed." "Okay, i love you. Bye. All right." 77 00:05:59,639 --> 00:06:01,970 *** think, "i'm going up, looking for this *** ass. 78 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,290 I know where he at. 79 00:06:03,290 --> 00:06:05,319 He over at chuckie and them's over on feday street. 80 00:06:05,329 --> 00:06:06,829 I'm going to fuck this *** up." 81 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:14,250 Your friends be looking out for you. 82 00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:18,564 "I think your girl's out prowling. I just seen her car." 83 00:06:23,439 --> 00:06:25,649 And don't fall asleep, fellas, before your girl 84 00:06:25,660 --> 00:06:27,698 'cause they will ransack your shit. 85 00:06:29,939 --> 00:06:31,430 You ever fall asleep and wake up 86 00:06:31,430 --> 00:06:33,464 and realize you ain't got that phone in your pocket? 87 00:06:34,806 --> 00:06:39,464 Be like, "oh, shit. My phone. Baby! What room you in?! 88 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:41,540 This bitch got my phone. 89 00:06:42,639 --> 00:06:44,540 Baby, what room you in? You seen your mama? 90 00:06:44,540 --> 00:06:47,402 Where your mama at? Where your mama? Baby!" 91 00:06:50,939 --> 00:06:53,722 They get that motherfucking phone, it is a wrap. 92 00:06:57,639 --> 00:06:59,665 That's a real nightmare right there, Detroit. 93 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,250 You in a cold sleep, and that's all you hear... 94 00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:05,750 "Who the fuck is this?!" 95 00:07:08,740 --> 00:07:11,865 You can't believe it's happening. You be like, "is this a dream?" 96 00:07:13,540 --> 00:07:15,610 You be looking with your eyes squinting and shit. 97 00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:18,910 "Who is this, ***? Ain't no sun in here." 98 00:07:18,910 --> 00:07:20,665 *** looking like the sun's in his eyes. 99 00:07:21,839 --> 00:07:25,464 "Ain't no sun in here. Who is this?!" 100 00:07:26,939 --> 00:07:31,365 "I don't know." "Call the bitch." 101 00:07:33,091 --> 00:07:36,564 You walk around the house butt naked with some underwear on, calling bitches. 102 00:07:37,839 --> 00:07:41,264 "Yeah, this is Mike. Uh, don't never call me again, bitch, yeah. 103 00:07:42,740 --> 00:07:44,365 Fuck you, you know what i mean?" 104 00:07:45,139 --> 00:07:46,670 He could be looking at his girl, talking, 105 00:07:46,670 --> 00:07:48,661 "yeah, bitch, don't ever call me back again, you hear me?" 106 00:07:50,639 --> 00:07:52,139 "Call the other bitch. 107 00:07:58,139 --> 00:07:59,764 I'm not playing with you." 108 00:08:02,740 --> 00:08:05,319 "Yeah, this is Mike, uh, don't never call me back again. 109 00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:09,699 You fucking my family up, bitch, bye." 110 00:08:09,709 --> 00:08:11,959 "Don't be saying 'bye' at the end, ***! 111 00:08:12,939 --> 00:08:15,064 You're trying to leave some hope, ain't you? 112 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,744 I'm changing the number in the morning." 113 00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:29,064 You know, fucking women put the pressure on the ***. 114 00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:31,810 They want to feel your balls when you come in the house. 115 00:08:31,810 --> 00:08:35,465 "Let me feel your nuts. Your nuts feel empty, man. 116 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,565 How much did they weigh 'fore i left, man? 117 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:44,164 "I didn't say nothing when you had that bottle of vinegar next to the tub." 118 00:08:46,639 --> 00:08:48,965 Look how all the old bitches know what that is. 119 00:08:49,639 --> 00:08:54,264 [Sings] Snap that pussy back. 120 00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:58,465 "Yeah, i'm gonna tighten this pussy up on this *** tonight. 121 00:08:59,785 --> 00:09:01,777 Two capfuls of this vinegar." 122 00:09:03,139 --> 00:09:07,465 [Sings] Snap that pussy back. 123 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:13,164 "Girl, I'm looking in my cabinet. I done ran out of that snap-back. 124 00:09:13,539 --> 00:09:15,980 Come over. I'll be right over there." 125 00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:18,164 [Sings] Snap that pussy back. 126 00:09:20,039 --> 00:09:22,664 all the young bitches still don't know what I'm talking about. 127 00:09:23,639 --> 00:09:25,865 "What's the vinegar shit he talking about?" 128 00:09:26,539 --> 00:09:31,111 They going to the store right after this. "What aisle's the vinegar on, ma'am?" 129 00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:35,351 "You must want to..." [Sings] Snap that pussy back. 130 00:09:42,539 --> 00:09:44,764 Look at them. They like that, don't they, fellas? 131 00:09:45,539 --> 00:09:48,465 But they don't like when we make the pussy fart, do they? 132 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:50,840 [Farting noises] 133 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,764 "You trying to be funny, you making my pussy fart." 134 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,164 [Farting noises] 135 00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,065 *** make a song like Doug E. Fresh. 136 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:05,365 [Beatboxing] 137 00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:07,840 "Get up. You making my pussy fart." 138 00:10:11,539 --> 00:10:13,919 They think they done did their thing. Air done got in there. 139 00:10:13,919 --> 00:10:17,565 They lifted their legs up. As soon as they let them legs down. 140 00:10:19,940 --> 00:10:21,440 "I'm so sorry." 141 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:25,065 Don't be sorry. Which hole did that air come out of? 142 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,565 'Cause i smelled steamed broccoli, goddamn it, now get up. 143 00:10:33,344 --> 00:10:35,664 [Farting noises] 144 00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:42,865 I seen cream of wheat dust come out of there. 145 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,559 And, fellas, you got to fuck these girls good, 146 00:10:49,570 --> 00:10:51,649 'cause if you don't, they ain't gonna give you no play. 147 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,764 You be like, "I wonder why she don't say nothing to me no more, man." 148 00:10:57,539 --> 00:10:59,440 You see her in the club. "What's up?!" 149 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:00,950 She be like, "Hey... 150 00:11:01,975 --> 00:11:03,764 Sorry-ass motherfucker. 151 00:11:04,740 --> 00:11:12,565 Two-second-ass, bitch-ass ***, wasting my time." 152 00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:15,565 You got to tear the pussy down. 153 00:11:16,039 --> 00:11:18,200 If you don't fuck them good, you know they gonna pull out that little... 154 00:11:18,230 --> 00:11:21,539 [Vibrating noises] 155 00:11:21,539 --> 00:11:25,051 Look at them. They love that shit. [Vibrating noises] 156 00:11:28,639 --> 00:11:31,264 Put the motherfucking toy out of the equation. 157 00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:34,649 You done tore the pussy down. 158 00:11:34,649 --> 00:11:37,261 "Watch out." [Vibrating noises] 159 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,620 Then the batteries go down. 160 00:11:47,629 --> 00:11:54,764 You be like, "yeah, bitch. You want to play now." 161 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:58,664 She all in the kitchen, butt naked on her tippy toes, looking for batteries. 162 00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:02,664 "Oh, my god. The feeling's going away. I need some batteries." 163 00:12:04,131 --> 00:12:05,610 All in the kitchen drawers. 164 00:12:05,610 --> 00:12:07,110 "Oh, my god, where's the motherfucking batteries?" 165 00:12:10,340 --> 00:12:12,230 They finally take the batteries out the remote control. 166 00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:16,565 "Get the channel you gonna watch. Put the motherfucking remote control down. 167 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,264 I'm taking the batteries out of here." 168 00:12:26,639 --> 00:12:29,764 They get mad when we got a porno tape in the motherfucking house. 169 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,365 "Keep these bitches out of my house!" 170 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,164 Motherfucking frisbee... threw the motherfucker. 171 00:12:35,740 --> 00:12:39,231 "I don't know them bitches. They live in San Diego." 172 00:12:43,039 --> 00:12:44,965 Women love to catch a *** jacking off. 173 00:12:47,539 --> 00:12:49,764 That's why you got to have the remote control right here on your lap 174 00:12:50,539 --> 00:12:52,549 so you can hit stop and put your dick under your shirt. 175 00:12:52,549 --> 00:12:54,049 Who is that? 176 00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:03,440 Son! 177 00:13:08,039 --> 00:13:10,750 That's how women walk in the door on your ass just like this. 178 00:13:10,759 --> 00:13:12,259 "What are you doing?" 179 00:13:16,940 --> 00:13:17,740 I'm gonna do it again. 180 00:13:17,740 --> 00:13:19,429 This is how they come around the corner like this. 181 00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:20,950 "Caught your ass, didn't I? 182 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,264 Smell funny in here." 183 00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,664 "What it supposed to smell like? My balls is out. 184 00:13:30,340 --> 00:13:31,840 Cherries?" 185 00:13:35,539 --> 00:13:38,279 And, ladies, you got to watch these men. Just 'cause a *** got money 186 00:13:38,289 --> 00:13:40,764 don't mean he got his dick cut right when he was a baby. 187 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,179 *** pull his dick out, and motherfucker got a turtleneck. 188 00:13:47,521 --> 00:13:51,065 [Sings] I think this brother got a turtleneck 189 00:13:55,139 --> 00:13:58,320 "Girl, he got money, but he got blanket lint on his dick. 190 00:13:58,330 --> 00:13:59,830 What do I do? 191 00:14:04,139 --> 00:14:05,639 What do I do? 192 00:14:08,940 --> 00:14:10,429 I'm feeling good, motherfucker. 193 00:14:10,429 --> 00:14:11,620 We got a black president. 194 00:14:11,620 --> 00:14:13,019 Can't nobody tell me shit. 195 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:19,865 I feel like i can sell weed right in the middle of the street. 196 00:14:22,539 --> 00:14:23,649 Obama smoke weed. 197 00:14:23,649 --> 00:14:26,001 Look at that little walk he got. You see that little walk? 198 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,311 I seen him almost fall one time. 199 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:41,664 See, this *** a pimp right here. 200 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,264 Lips purple, he smoking them grape swisher sweets? 201 00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:48,965 Look at his lips. 202 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:53,379 Bush got all the money. 203 00:14:53,379 --> 00:14:55,965 He's a rotten motherfucker, that little Bush. 204 00:14:57,139 --> 00:14:59,500 Oh, he somewhere right now with his shirt off, 205 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,264 eating chicken wings, counting his money. 206 00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:04,965 "Oh, i raked up pretty good." 207 00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:10,059 He just look at you with that little smirk like that. 208 00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:13,965 You know how Bush look at you, like, "you know i fucked you. 209 00:15:16,039 --> 00:15:18,965 But what you gonna do about it? 210 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:21,940 Nothing." 211 00:15:26,940 --> 00:15:30,365 They tried to fuck Obama's oath up. You see when he had his hand up? 212 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,590 He had to stop and look at the man like, 213 00:15:33,590 --> 00:15:39,865 "I'll slap the shit out you up here if you mess my shit up. 214 00:15:41,653 --> 00:15:44,385 Try to read my oath with a now and later in your mouth." 215 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,340 You know Obama's real. 216 00:15:54,139 --> 00:15:55,764 He getting them threatening calls, too. 217 00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:59,365 He got the same pressure of a *** that got 30 kilos in the basement. 218 00:16:04,451 --> 00:16:05,740 "Hello?" 219 00:16:05,740 --> 00:16:07,240 "I'm gonna kill you, ***." 220 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,340 "Hello?!" 221 00:16:10,517 --> 00:16:14,365 "I'm gonna kill you, motherfucker. You think you the shit." 222 00:16:16,139 --> 00:16:17,639 "Jesse? 223 00:16:25,164 --> 00:16:27,264 I know who it is, Michelle. It's Jesse Jackson. 224 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,465 Stop playing on my fucking phone. 225 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,365 No, you can't come to the white house, ***. 226 00:16:34,639 --> 00:16:37,164 Trying to call me a bitch on the mike one night." 227 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:41,360 They caught jesse's ass hating on him. 228 00:16:42,539 --> 00:16:44,850 "Talk about suck my dick, ***." 229 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:47,740 Caught you, didn't they, Jesse? 230 00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:54,470 He sitting up there at the inauguration, crying, like he just so happy, 231 00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:57,373 looking like a drunk-ass Pekinese, just... 232 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:06,269 "Man, that sure was supposed to be me. Keep hope alive." 233 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,359 He's just a rotten motherfucker, man. 234 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,132 You got Martin Luther king shot, man. 235 00:17:14,106 --> 00:17:14,640 Pop! 236 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,359 "Watch out, king! Goddamn it! Get out the way!" 237 00:17:17,539 --> 00:17:20,664 "Jesse, they was after you." "I know who it was. I know that. 238 00:17:25,140 --> 00:17:27,051 I tried to fuck his wife. Let's get out of here." 239 00:17:35,839 --> 00:17:37,339 Ah, shit. 240 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,859 That fucking Bin Laden they still can't find him. 241 00:17:41,839 --> 00:17:46,650 Every chance he get, he let them know. As soon as Obama won, *** call. 242 00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:48,359 "We won, my ***." 243 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:50,940 "Who is this?" 244 00:17:51,339 --> 00:17:53,460 "It's the *** you love to hate. 245 00:17:54,839 --> 00:17:56,359 It's Ladi-Dadi. 246 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,769 And we likes to party." 247 00:18:08,666 --> 00:18:11,210 He send him a tape every chance he get. 248 00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:15,170 "This is my new video. Exclusive. 249 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:21,170 'Rhapsody the basement,' with my ***, big tigger." 250 00:18:23,140 --> 00:18:29,569 [Sings] 251 00:18:29,569 --> 00:18:31,359 Gettin' Bin Laden money 252 00:18:32,039 --> 00:18:38,960 We gettin' Bin Laden money 253 00:18:40,039 --> 00:18:43,769 We gettin' Bin Laden money 254 00:18:44,940 --> 00:18:49,460 Just think of all them busta rhymes video. 255 00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:54,453 Muslim women butt naked with just this on. 256 00:18:59,039 --> 00:19:01,359 Oh man. 257 00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:03,579 It's crazy out here, man. 258 00:19:03,589 --> 00:19:05,359 White people, I feel sorry for y'all. 259 00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:10,859 Y'all kids will kill y'all... in a motherfucking minute. 260 00:19:11,940 --> 00:19:12,940 "Timmy, you're grounded." 261 00:19:12,940 --> 00:19:14,492 "And you're dead, mom bitch! 262 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,375 You're fucking out of here, man!" 263 00:19:20,539 --> 00:19:22,279 That's how they always do the leg and their foot... 264 00:19:22,279 --> 00:19:23,779 "You're fucking dead, mom! 265 00:19:25,740 --> 00:19:28,490 You're dead, fucking dead as dead, man!" 266 00:19:37,140 --> 00:19:38,670 "Timmy, what's the problem?" 267 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,359 "You're the fucking problem. 268 00:19:42,539 --> 00:19:45,559 You're the problem, dad's the fucking problem. 269 00:19:46,539 --> 00:19:49,859 I told you i want my fucking skateboard out the shop, bitch!" 270 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:59,670 Look at white people. "I don't act like that. My son doesn't do that." 271 00:20:03,140 --> 00:20:05,950 You come home from school, little Timmy in the garage making a bomb. 272 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,170 "What are you doing, Timmy?" "Nothing, mom! 273 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,359 Get out of here now! 274 00:20:16,740 --> 00:20:18,652 That's why you're fucking out of here!" 275 00:20:25,839 --> 00:20:28,359 You ain't never heard of a little black kid killing they mama, have you? 276 00:20:29,339 --> 00:20:31,833 'Cause there will be a shootout in that mother... 277 00:20:35,940 --> 00:20:38,859 You know, black mothers got instincts like they in Vietnam. 278 00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:41,960 "What you doing in that room so motherfucking long? 279 00:20:43,839 --> 00:20:46,460 You need to say something when you in there." 280 00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:50,440 "This is my room." 281 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:57,170 You know them black mothers love jumping on they daughters. 282 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,559 Them mamas and daughters always got that little rival thing after a while. 283 00:21:01,940 --> 00:21:04,269 You know when the daughters start getting spunky with her mama, 284 00:21:04,940 --> 00:21:06,170 tell her to do something. 285 00:21:06,170 --> 00:21:07,210 "I'm-a do it. Shit." 286 00:21:07,210 --> 00:21:08,710 "What did you say? 287 00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:11,500 Bitch, I'll knock your head in between that washer and dryer. 288 00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:13,460 Don't talk that motherfucking shit to me." 289 00:21:14,712 --> 00:21:17,170 You know, black mothers love to do that first jump on. 290 00:21:19,464 --> 00:21:21,460 "Let's get an understanding around here, heifer." 291 00:21:25,339 --> 00:21:26,980 And then they call and tell everybody. 292 00:21:26,980 --> 00:21:30,559 "I had to knock Shaniqua's motherfucking I tried to kick that bitch 293 00:21:30,559 --> 00:21:32,170 all behind the damn washer and dryer. 294 00:21:35,606 --> 00:21:39,769 I guess 'cause she got titties she think she running something around here. 295 00:21:40,140 --> 00:21:43,769 I had to let her know buy your own tampons! 296 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:55,269 Until you can buy your own tampons, don't say a motherfucking thing to me. 297 00:21:57,339 --> 00:22:00,059 Bitch will want to borrow a tampon, talk crazy back to a bitch." 298 00:22:02,839 --> 00:22:07,670 Then the next two days, "i love you, baby. Want to go have lunch?" 299 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,789 "Yeah, if you didn't beat me all upside the fucking head 300 00:22:10,789 --> 00:22:12,702 and told everybody at the church." 301 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,529 Black mamas will hit your ass anywhere: 302 00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:25,170 church, parking lot, court, any motherfucking where. 303 00:22:26,740 --> 00:22:29,072 If you ever get hit, you be looking to see who seen it. 304 00:22:42,339 --> 00:22:44,359 Be a white man just looking at you like this. 305 00:22:46,839 --> 00:22:48,769 "You better be careful, little buddy." 306 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,152 "You better shut the fuck up." 307 00:22:53,740 --> 00:22:55,269 "He's pretty feisty, isn't he?" 308 00:22:56,339 --> 00:22:58,692 "Yeah, I'm-a knock his motherfucking teeth out of his mouth." 309 00:23:04,740 --> 00:23:06,690 My mother tried to raise us Jehovah's witness. 310 00:23:06,690 --> 00:23:09,059 I was like, "oh, hell, no. Not that. 311 00:23:09,839 --> 00:23:14,170 No fucking Christmas gifts? Fuck this shit!" 312 00:23:15,539 --> 00:23:19,559 Keep tying notes to my shirt, "he's not to participate in any activities." 313 00:23:20,039 --> 00:23:25,691 "This note won't make it this year. I'm getting a fucking gift this year." 314 00:23:27,140 --> 00:23:29,670 Knocking on people's doors, "do you know the truth?" 315 00:23:30,839 --> 00:23:32,460 "Get off my porch, bitch." 316 00:23:33,339 --> 00:23:35,491 "Yep, the devil's in there. Let's get out of here, kids." 317 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,059 Hey, it's fucking crazy out here. 318 00:23:45,839 --> 00:23:49,059 I want to turn my life over to god, but it is hard as hell. 319 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,940 Every time something happen to us, that's what we do. 320 00:23:52,940 --> 00:23:56,140 "Oh, god, please don't do it to me, man. I tell you this is it, man. 321 00:23:56,150 --> 00:23:57,869 I'm leaving these *** alone. 322 00:23:57,869 --> 00:23:59,829 All these bitches, I'm telling you this is it, man. 323 00:23:59,839 --> 00:24:05,269 I'm tired of this shit man. I should have been came to you." 324 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,509 As soon as you feel good, ***, you're back out. 325 00:24:07,519 --> 00:24:11,641 [Sings] Fuck these bitches, I'm gonna fuck these bitches 326 00:24:13,039 --> 00:24:15,740 God be like, "he's a lying motherfucker right there. 327 00:24:15,750 --> 00:24:19,359 Lying-ass ***. Don't you call me no more." 328 00:24:21,740 --> 00:24:24,359 These motherfucking churches are getting expensive! 329 00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:28,769 You think these preachers don't know it's a fucking recession? 330 00:24:30,140 --> 00:24:31,990 Every time they catch you catching the Holy Ghost: 331 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,950 "we gonna take the plate one more time! 332 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:35,460 Pass the plate one more time!" 333 00:24:36,940 --> 00:24:39,130 I seen old ladies snap out of the Holy Ghost. 334 00:24:39,130 --> 00:24:41,082 She's like, "la... oh, hell, no! 335 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:45,609 Now, that's just taking advantage of a motherfucker right there. 336 00:24:45,609 --> 00:24:49,059 That's the third time he done sent the plate around here. 337 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,059 Now, that's it, now." 338 00:24:55,039 --> 00:24:57,960 They got families that know how to time that motherfucking plate. 339 00:24:58,839 --> 00:25:01,460 You see a whole family get up. They know how to do it. 340 00:25:02,039 --> 00:25:04,769 You see the father get up first. Motherfucker just start walking out. 341 00:25:08,339 --> 00:25:10,670 Kids be right behind him. 342 00:25:13,039 --> 00:25:15,769 Pastor, "look at this shit right there! Look at that! 343 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:21,859 That's what you call stealing, now." 344 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,559 Some of them pastors need to quit it, for real. 345 00:25:28,140 --> 00:25:30,559 Like, them *** that be on TV 4:30 in the morning. 346 00:25:32,140 --> 00:25:33,960 Be like, "***, what the hell?" 347 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,772 "You got to understand. You see the Lord... 348 00:25:42,940 --> 00:25:47,420 let us turn the page... 33... Corinthians 33:45. 349 00:25:47,430 --> 00:25:50,349 And it'll tell you... You'll see the... 350 00:25:51,039 --> 00:25:55,460 Be like, "***, it is the reason why you on the TV at 4:00 in the morning. 351 00:25:56,839 --> 00:25:58,339 You ain't shit." 352 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:05,230 And I'm telling you, man, TV and the computer is some bullshit. 353 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:06,960 That's all they got is bullshit on there. 354 00:26:07,839 --> 00:26:09,630 Judge Joe Brown, you ever watch him? 355 00:26:09,630 --> 00:26:12,559 "You mean to tell me you had $25, 356 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:17,440 and you turned around and gave the other lady $8 of the money? 357 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:18,940 Sit down." 358 00:26:21,039 --> 00:26:28,259 What about judge Mathis? He's a motherfucker, ain't he? 359 00:26:31,597 --> 00:26:34,339 That's Detroit's finest. 360 00:26:37,019 --> 00:26:39,859 He'll call you a crackhead in a minute. 361 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,690 "So that's what the lady said. I know what she said. 362 00:26:43,700 --> 00:26:45,200 Huh? Go ahead. Say it again. 363 00:26:46,140 --> 00:26:47,309 And she's a crackhead. 364 00:26:47,309 --> 00:26:51,170 I know a crackhead when i see one. Go ahead. Huh? 365 00:26:51,180 --> 00:26:53,529 And you gave her the $35. 366 00:26:53,529 --> 00:26:56,329 I know a crackhead. Yeah, i know your stuff. 367 00:26:56,911 --> 00:27:02,059 I went to school with people like you. You trying to pull a game on me. 368 00:27:04,586 --> 00:27:06,460 Gangs, I've been there." 369 00:27:11,339 --> 00:27:13,589 Don't you hate that guy on that college commercial 370 00:27:13,589 --> 00:27:15,150 that Everest college commercial? 371 00:27:17,014 --> 00:27:19,799 "Get up. Come on. What you doing? You ain't doing nothing with yourself. 372 00:27:19,809 --> 00:27:22,029 Come on, look at you. You look like a bum just sitting there! 373 00:27:22,039 --> 00:27:23,130 You ain't doing nothing! 374 00:27:23,130 --> 00:27:25,240 Do something with yourself. Come on down to college. 375 00:27:25,250 --> 00:27:27,990 Man, you ugly as hell. Man, come on, man. Come on man. Look at you. 376 00:27:27,990 --> 00:27:30,269 You ain't got no job. You ain't doing nothing with yourself. 377 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:31,920 Come on, get a college degree!" 378 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:35,059 You be like, "shut the fuck up, ***! I'm doing something with myself! 379 00:27:36,913 --> 00:27:41,559 I'll kill that *** down at Everest college, man." 380 00:27:43,111 --> 00:27:44,789 10 minutes later, here come the bitch. 381 00:27:44,789 --> 00:27:46,599 "Come on. What you got in there, huh? 382 00:27:46,609 --> 00:27:48,861 You ain't doing nothing with yourself. Life's fucked up." 383 00:27:57,339 --> 00:27:59,970 What about "first 48"? You ever watched that? 384 00:28:02,789 --> 00:28:05,769 You got to read the Bible after you watch that shit. 385 00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:10,559 I'm straightening my life up after that episode, that was fucked up. 386 00:28:13,256 --> 00:28:14,769 I ain't bullshitting. It can happen. 387 00:28:15,539 --> 00:28:18,731 They need to call "first 48" "first 48 snitches," 388 00:28:20,839 --> 00:28:23,769 'cause them are some ratatouille-ass *** on that show. 389 00:28:26,140 --> 00:28:31,059 I haven't seen an episode yet where they didn't tell. 390 00:28:31,940 --> 00:28:33,559 Soon as the police ride up. 391 00:28:33,569 --> 00:28:35,269 "Put your hands up!" "Tony Clark." 392 00:28:35,279 --> 00:28:39,359 Police, "wait a minute, ***. Who is Tony Clark?" 393 00:28:39,740 --> 00:28:41,130 "I tell you who it is. 394 00:28:41,130 --> 00:28:44,559 Come on. Let's go. Let's go downtown. I'm ready to get a soda. 395 00:28:45,839 --> 00:28:47,359 I'm ready to drink a soda, baby, let's do it. 396 00:28:49,091 --> 00:28:50,331 And you better get two 90-minute tapes 397 00:28:50,331 --> 00:28:53,061 'cause i got a whole lot of shit i want to talk to you about." 398 00:28:58,339 --> 00:29:02,359 That lady make everybody tell. What's her name, ms. Mason? 399 00:29:02,940 --> 00:29:07,460 You know how the show come on. [Imitating a melody] 400 00:29:08,940 --> 00:29:10,769 "In the first 48..." 401 00:29:13,740 --> 00:29:16,359 When they get the *** in the room, she go right in there at him. 402 00:29:16,740 --> 00:29:23,359 "Now, little cookie, you know that i know that everybody in the hood know 403 00:29:24,339 --> 00:29:26,269 who killed little poo-poo Thursday night." 404 00:29:28,740 --> 00:29:31,559 This is how you know the *** gonna tell, when they go like this, 405 00:29:34,839 --> 00:29:36,352 "Booyah! I think we got him!" 406 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:41,960 When they come back from a commercial, *** been saying something. 407 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,960 You can tell 'cause he got a cigarette. *** relaxed. 408 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,231 "Yeah, I seen a little something-something-something." 409 00:29:52,740 --> 00:29:55,950 By the time the show's going off, this *** at red lobster. 410 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:59,769 "I seen three murders. Give me that butter right there, put that..." 411 00:30:01,140 --> 00:30:03,553 "***, you done told for an ultimate feast?" 412 00:30:12,039 --> 00:30:15,460 What i can't understand about a *** telling, *** still go to jail. 413 00:30:17,839 --> 00:30:20,170 You did all that telling, and you still in here? 414 00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:24,670 Niggas in jail are the lyingest motherfuckers ever. 415 00:30:25,339 --> 00:30:27,437 *** be in jail lying like me. 416 00:30:27,437 --> 00:30:29,559 "You know they took $100, 000 from me, man! 417 00:30:30,539 --> 00:30:34,960 Kicked that dope, took $100, 000, took $50, 000, man. Took everything." 418 00:30:36,039 --> 00:30:38,170 You like, "why you ain't got no money on your books?" 419 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:42,859 "They took everything. 420 00:30:44,140 --> 00:30:47,460 I didn't even have $15 to put on any *** books." 421 00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,460 When *** go to prison, man, they turn into everything. 422 00:30:54,940 --> 00:30:56,240 Straight up 423 00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,680 I know a *** that done killed nine ***. 424 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:00,572 This *** in a Christmas play this year. 425 00:31:03,940 --> 00:31:08,220 This *** [Sings] I me... 426 00:31:08,230 --> 00:31:11,460 I said, "do they know who they got in this play?" 427 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,460 This nigga is gonna tie Santa, everybody up. 428 00:31:18,039 --> 00:31:19,539 [Vocalises] 429 00:31:23,508 --> 00:31:25,000 *** come home from prison 430 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:26,930 they want you to take them to the mall, don't they? 431 00:31:26,940 --> 00:31:28,460 "Take me to the mall, baby. 432 00:31:28,940 --> 00:31:32,769 You know, I just came home man. Gonna get me right, baby! 433 00:31:34,140 --> 00:31:39,690 Take me to Northland, baby, get me a sweater! 434 00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:41,529 Yeah, man, take me there, man." 435 00:31:41,539 --> 00:31:44,829 They tell everybody, too. "Yeah, Tony got me two sweaters. 436 00:31:45,099 --> 00:31:48,259 I just got two sweaters. Tony gave me two sweaters. 437 00:31:48,420 --> 00:31:54,170 I got a pair of pants the other night." 438 00:31:57,839 --> 00:32:01,460 See the *** a year later, "Man, you know i just came home, don't you?" 439 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:08,859 "***, you've been home for a while now. Quit lying, motherfucker." 440 00:32:09,940 --> 00:32:13,240 And if you've been selling dope for 20 years and you ain't got shit, 441 00:32:13,250 --> 00:32:14,859 it's probably time to get a job. 442 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:17,269 I'm being straight up. 443 00:32:17,279 --> 00:32:22,359 You can make more money on a job than them those kibbles and bits. 444 00:32:22,839 --> 00:32:26,359 You been throwing rocks at the penitentiary for $140 a week, anyway. 445 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:29,769 For $140 a week. 446 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:32,140 You might as well go get a job. 447 00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:35,171 You in it for the lifestyle, not the paper. 448 00:32:36,940 --> 00:32:39,960 You're tricking bitches with a gold chain. 449 00:32:40,539 --> 00:32:42,059 Look at the sugar daddy right there. 450 00:32:42,069 --> 00:32:44,930 [Sings] You could have whatever you like 451 00:32:44,940 --> 00:32:47,549 i said you could have whatever you like 452 00:32:47,559 --> 00:32:49,059 Hey! 453 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,539 Look at sugar daddy. Sugar daddy! 454 00:32:55,278 --> 00:32:58,670 If you don't sit your big b. b. king-looking ass... 455 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,069 [Sings] You could have whatever you like 456 00:33:02,079 --> 00:33:03,960 Hey! 457 00:33:03,970 --> 00:33:07,200 Stacks on me Patron on ice 458 00:33:07,210 --> 00:33:12,059 Put it on down, but it just I said, you could have whatever you like 459 00:33:12,069 --> 00:33:13,829 That's right. Give it up for him, y'all. 460 00:33:13,839 --> 00:33:17,269 One more time, sugar daddy! 461 00:33:17,339 --> 00:33:20,670 That's one of them old players be looking over his glasses in the club. 462 00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:23,859 Boy, there's some fine bitches in here tonight. 463 00:33:24,740 --> 00:33:29,009 *** had this many keys. Goddamn, this is magnificent. 464 00:33:29,789 --> 00:33:32,269 Goddamn, there's some bad bitches in there. 465 00:33:32,279 --> 00:33:34,240 Smitty, where are the little bad bitches in the house? 466 00:33:38,650 --> 00:33:41,769 Oh, look at that ass, fatter than a country boy's lunch box. 467 00:33:41,769 --> 00:33:43,859 Look out. Look out. Look out. Look out. 468 00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:46,769 I'd like to had to got that pussy the other night. 469 00:33:47,940 --> 00:33:49,769 I'd like to had to got that pussy. 470 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,651 I'd like to had to got it. I'm telling you." 471 00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:57,480 That's how them old men be talking. 472 00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:58,880 "Look here, son. Let me tell you something. 473 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:02,039 I just got a whole new, I just got a whole new, 474 00:34:02,039 --> 00:34:05,269 look out there in the back of that trunk and get y'all soda out of there. 475 00:34:06,140 --> 00:34:09,969 Get your soda out of there." 476 00:34:10,940 --> 00:34:14,059 When them old men coming in the house, that's all you hear. 477 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:16,639 [Keys clanking] 478 00:34:16,639 --> 00:34:19,170 "Damn, what key is this? I don't know what godda..." 479 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,360 Then you hear him holler: "Barbara! 480 00:34:27,139 --> 00:34:29,469 I don't know what goddamn key this is right here." 481 00:34:34,539 --> 00:34:38,112 There's some sugar daddies in here 'cause i seen about nine vans outside. 482 00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:43,360 That's all them old players drive is vans. 483 00:34:44,139 --> 00:34:45,940 "Shit, i ain't about no goddamn hotel. 484 00:34:45,940 --> 00:34:48,260 Take her right in the back of the goddamn van. 485 00:34:48,940 --> 00:34:52,760 Yeah, sure did. Fucked her for $77." 486 00:34:54,340 --> 00:34:55,800 *** always say an odd number. 487 00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,059 "Shit, get me some of that pussy for $38 the other night. 488 00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:00,940 Sure did." 489 00:35:04,639 --> 00:35:06,071 There's a lot of older ladies in here 490 00:35:06,071 --> 00:35:08,481 trying to give away some of that cougar pussy. 491 00:35:13,639 --> 00:35:16,059 [Sings] You could have whatever you like 492 00:35:19,940 --> 00:35:24,170 "Come on, get some of this cougar pussy, young boy." 493 00:35:28,940 --> 00:35:32,670 Shit, them old ladies buy you lawn mowers and hedge cutters and shit. 494 00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,559 "Mama bought you a hedge cutter, baby." 495 00:35:37,539 --> 00:35:39,860 "I ain't doing no yard work, bitch. Let me use the car." 496 00:35:44,639 --> 00:35:46,889 I got a buddy under investigation right now. 497 00:35:46,889 --> 00:35:49,559 This *** been taking food up into the nursing home, 498 00:35:50,139 --> 00:35:53,969 feeding old women, getting they checks. 499 00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:58,969 He riding around with the old women in they car. 500 00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:02,659 Old women got the same jogging suit he got on. 501 00:36:03,530 --> 00:36:05,199 "Yeah, man, that's my girl in there." 502 00:36:05,199 --> 00:36:09,750 I said, "***, that ain't your girl. Take that old lady home." 503 00:36:13,230 --> 00:36:15,460 3:00 in the morning, she in the car asleep. 504 00:36:15,929 --> 00:36:19,121 This *** eating chicken outside of the car, music blaring. 505 00:36:22,230 --> 00:36:26,159 Old lady in the car knocked the fuck out with a jogging suit on. 506 00:36:26,730 --> 00:36:29,349 I said, "man, take that old lady ass home." 507 00:36:30,730 --> 00:36:32,739 She about to get up anyway. It's about 4:30. 508 00:36:32,739 --> 00:36:34,239 She get up anyway that time. 509 00:36:39,630 --> 00:36:43,179 I said, "this is a rotten motherfucker right here, ***. 510 00:36:43,190 --> 00:36:46,849 You going to double hell with gasoline drawers on. 511 00:36:47,530 --> 00:36:49,030 You are fucked up. 512 00:36:50,030 --> 00:36:51,630 I said, "do you fuck any of them?" 513 00:36:51,639 --> 00:36:53,659 "Every now and then, I hit one of them. 514 00:36:54,230 --> 00:36:56,150 Every now and then, i hit them and split them. 515 00:36:56,150 --> 00:36:57,860 You know what i mean? I do a little something to them. 516 00:36:57,869 --> 00:36:59,369 Get on, wave it around." 517 00:37:00,030 --> 00:37:01,449 I said, "you's a foul ***. 518 00:37:01,449 --> 00:37:03,821 If I catch you near my grandma, I'm gonna fuck you up." 519 00:37:08,030 --> 00:37:10,750 Some of them grandmas, though, they be hot in the pants. 520 00:37:12,030 --> 00:37:14,340 They be in there talking all nice to you and your friends. 521 00:37:14,340 --> 00:37:16,851 As soon as you walk out, they jump in your friends' faces. 522 00:37:21,030 --> 00:37:22,849 "Man, come and get your grandmother." 523 00:37:22,849 --> 00:37:25,041 "What? I ain't did nothing. Ain't nobody doing nothing." 524 00:37:32,429 --> 00:37:34,349 We have some sugar daddies in here tonight, 525 00:37:35,130 --> 00:37:37,440 and i knowing some older ladies in here tonight. 526 00:37:37,449 --> 00:37:40,500 And I just want to let y'all know that times have really changed. 527 00:37:40,510 --> 00:37:42,110 You know times have changed. 528 00:37:42,119 --> 00:37:43,030 How did we go from... 529 00:37:43,030 --> 00:37:44,750 [Sings] Oh girl 530 00:37:45,130 --> 00:37:47,750 I'd be in trouble if I left you now 531 00:37:48,130 --> 00:37:49,710 ... to... [Sings] I was gettin' some head 532 00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:51,219 I was getting some head 533 00:37:58,230 --> 00:38:00,829 My grandmother is 80-something years old. 534 00:38:00,829 --> 00:38:03,150 She don't know what "head" mean, the word "head." 535 00:38:04,019 --> 00:38:06,409 My little nephews was playing that song, she came in there and said, 536 00:38:06,420 --> 00:38:08,522 "cut it off right now before I come in there 537 00:38:08,522 --> 00:38:10,022 and get some head out of all of you! 538 00:38:13,706 --> 00:38:16,678 And I mean cut it off right goddamn now! 539 00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:23,750 I gave your daddy head, your daddy head, your daddy head 540 00:38:24,119 --> 00:38:26,750 I've been giving head around here for many years. 541 00:38:27,820 --> 00:38:29,650 Now cut it off!" 542 00:38:33,519 --> 00:38:35,250 They was laughing like a mother. 543 00:38:37,619 --> 00:38:39,530 Every five minutes, they was running in the room, 544 00:38:39,530 --> 00:38:40,849 playing, "grandma." "What?" 545 00:38:40,849 --> 00:38:44,690 "You still gonna give us some head like you said you was earlier today?" 546 00:38:46,019 --> 00:38:48,260 "You damn right I'm gonna give you head like I said. 547 00:38:48,269 --> 00:38:51,190 Keep on coming in and ask, I'm gonna give it to you right now!" 548 00:38:52,489 --> 00:38:55,250 "I got to pee. I can't do it right now." 549 00:38:58,219 --> 00:39:00,949 She didn't know what the fuck they was talking about. 550 00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:05,840 My auntie told her what they was talking about. 551 00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:07,820 They was in there asleep. 552 00:39:08,019 --> 00:39:09,420 She came in there. 553 00:39:09,420 --> 00:39:10,920 "Get your motherfucking ass! 554 00:39:11,119 --> 00:39:12,911 I was talking about sucking a dick earlier today!" 555 00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:20,329 My grandmother's sitting on the toilet like this 556 00:39:20,329 --> 00:39:22,961 with a cigarette and just open her legs and thump the ashes out. 557 00:39:31,420 --> 00:39:32,239 Shoulders be up. 558 00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:34,011 "Come here. Get grandma some toilet paper." 559 00:39:39,219 --> 00:39:42,340 Sometimes she lift her whole ass up. 560 00:39:50,519 --> 00:39:53,039 It look like Chris Brown is the new Ike Turner. 561 00:39:55,193 --> 00:39:59,650 [Sings] Wanna beat you, boo Every day 562 00:40:00,010 --> 00:40:01,510 Every night 563 00:40:04,210 --> 00:40:07,030 We don't know what that Frankenstein-head bitch did to him. 564 00:40:11,499 --> 00:40:14,059 There's two sides to the motherfucking story. 565 00:40:15,255 --> 00:40:18,880 Shit, I'm down with the women, you know what I mean? 566 00:40:18,889 --> 00:40:20,159 But the new law is... 567 00:40:20,159 --> 00:40:24,329 [Sings] Whoever get the phone first, the other one's goin' to jail 568 00:40:28,309 --> 00:40:30,119 Shit, *** be calling now. 569 00:40:30,130 --> 00:40:35,440 "Yeah, uh, my wife just hit me in the eye. Get down here now." 570 00:40:38,610 --> 00:40:40,530 They don't fuck around with that shit. 571 00:40:41,110 --> 00:40:44,639 They will give a *** a basketball jersey number for that shit. 572 00:40:45,809 --> 00:40:48,030 One time my girl called the police and hung up. 573 00:40:48,610 --> 00:40:50,639 This motherfuckers still came out. 574 00:40:52,909 --> 00:40:55,440 "Unfortunately, um, somebody got to go down." 575 00:40:56,809 --> 00:40:58,309 I was like, "for what?" 576 00:40:59,710 --> 00:41:02,530 "Um, taxpayer's dollars. You made us come out here." 577 00:41:04,210 --> 00:41:05,940 She looking at me. I'm looking at her. 578 00:41:12,309 --> 00:41:15,900 I went down there and got her, man. She was madder than a motherfucker. 579 00:41:15,909 --> 00:41:17,943 What? I had to work that night. 580 00:41:20,409 --> 00:41:21,940 She in the car like... 581 00:41:23,010 --> 00:41:25,530 I'm like, "I know. I know how it is." 582 00:41:31,909 --> 00:41:33,760 I'm just bullshitting. I'm just playing. 583 00:41:34,079 --> 00:41:36,329 They all jokes, motherfuckers, jokes. 584 00:41:37,309 --> 00:41:38,940 Y'all get sensitive and shit. 585 00:41:40,110 --> 00:41:41,260 Now I'm in the movies. 586 00:41:41,260 --> 00:41:44,139 Motherfuckers just want me to crack a joke all the goddamn time. 587 00:41:45,010 --> 00:41:46,449 I'll just be at places, man 588 00:41:46,449 --> 00:41:47,949 "Say something funny." 589 00:41:49,110 --> 00:41:50,610 Be like, "***, you say something funny." 590 00:41:52,409 --> 00:41:54,639 People just walk up and ask stupid-ass questions. 591 00:41:55,809 --> 00:41:58,239 "You talk to ice cube every day?" 592 00:42:02,599 --> 00:42:04,099 "No, motherfucker!" 593 00:42:07,099 --> 00:42:08,599 Stupid shit. 594 00:42:09,199 --> 00:42:10,829 And people love to call me day-day. 595 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:12,340 How long am i gonna be day-day? 596 00:42:14,442 --> 00:42:17,186 Forever? 597 00:42:17,186 --> 00:42:19,929 Aaaaaaah! 598 00:42:19,940 --> 00:42:29,469 [Sings] 15, 30, 35, 40, 45, 47 599 00:42:29,679 --> 00:42:31,530 "I know dwight." "Dwight who?" 600 00:42:31,539 --> 00:42:34,019 "'Da white' around your lips." 601 00:42:35,500 --> 00:42:46,429 And I'm escorted by top-flight security of the world! 602 00:42:47,699 --> 00:42:50,380 Yeah, it's crazy around here, man. I ain't bullshitting, man. 603 00:42:50,380 --> 00:42:54,320 I went to the strip club the other night, the Brass key. 604 00:42:58,314 --> 00:43:00,545 It was rough up in there. Smell my fingers. 605 00:43:00,545 --> 00:43:02,045 I ain't bullshitting. Come here, man. 606 00:43:03,151 --> 00:43:06,445 I cannot get this cat smell off my hand. 607 00:43:17,599 --> 00:43:19,320 You're like, "man, what the fuck?" 608 00:43:21,300 --> 00:43:22,960 A girl squirt some baby milk. 609 00:43:22,969 --> 00:43:24,730 I'm like, "what the hell was that all about?" 610 00:43:27,900 --> 00:43:29,429 "I just had a son!" 611 00:43:31,099 --> 00:43:35,519 I said, "do you see him in here?" 612 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:41,230 Had a C-section scar that went across this way. 613 00:43:41,699 --> 00:43:43,610 What you have, a baby or heart surgery? 614 00:43:43,610 --> 00:43:45,110 What the fuck kind of scar is that? 615 00:43:50,699 --> 00:43:51,920 I went and told the manager. 616 00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:54,619 I said, "girl's squirting goat milk over there in the fucking corner." 617 00:43:55,699 --> 00:43:57,199 "I know who it is." 618 00:43:57,599 --> 00:43:59,119 "What the fuck did you let her work for tonight? 619 00:44:03,690 --> 00:44:05,442 You know who it is." 620 00:44:07,989 --> 00:44:09,059 I love Detroit! 621 00:44:09,059 --> 00:44:10,750 Y'all *** is gangsta out here. 622 00:44:15,861 --> 00:44:17,361 Yeah. 623 00:44:17,690 --> 00:44:20,610 I've been coming to Detroit since 1989. 624 00:44:21,090 --> 00:44:23,920 I went to the job corps right there on Jefferson Street. 625 00:44:26,002 --> 00:44:29,054 My mama sent me up here to be an electrician. 626 00:44:30,789 --> 00:44:32,880 I went back home with a finger wave. 627 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:36,991 She's like, "oh, hell, no. You getting the fuck out of there." 628 00:44:38,425 --> 00:44:40,920 I had a briefcase and shit. 629 00:44:42,602 --> 00:44:44,933 "What the fuck kind of new shit is this? 630 00:44:47,590 --> 00:44:49,920 What's in the briefcase?!" "Nothing." 631 00:44:53,690 --> 00:44:55,821 I love y'all *** in Detroit, shit. 632 00:44:58,389 --> 00:45:03,420 And *** asks why you all here at the show during a recession? 633 00:45:04,590 --> 00:45:07,210 'Cause y'all are some hustling sons of bitches. 634 00:45:11,343 --> 00:45:14,110 I don't know where you get your money, but you get it. 635 00:45:16,828 --> 00:45:19,510 And if you're poor, we won't never know it. 636 00:45:21,090 --> 00:45:23,219 Y'all keep y'all fronts all the way up. 637 00:45:24,289 --> 00:45:26,420 You stay down until you come up. 638 00:45:27,789 --> 00:45:32,159 A *** won't never know what you got until he pull you to the side and say, 639 00:45:32,159 --> 00:45:35,219 "man, I'm running on hard times right now." 640 00:45:38,889 --> 00:45:41,139 That's how one of them old players gets some money from you. 641 00:45:41,139 --> 00:45:43,309 They just stare at you for a minute before they say something. 642 00:45:43,889 --> 00:45:45,920 As soon as they catch your eye. "Let me holler about something." 643 00:45:52,422 --> 00:45:55,413 You're like, "oh, what this *** want right here?" 644 00:45:57,989 --> 00:45:59,530 "Look, man, tell you something, man, 645 00:45:59,530 --> 00:46:02,449 you know they took $3, 500 from me the other day 646 00:46:02,449 --> 00:46:03,949 over there at Tony and Earl and them homes, right?" 647 00:46:05,179 --> 00:46:08,909 You're like, "here this *** go on one of them stories." 648 00:46:12,780 --> 00:46:15,139 You see that white man Madoff took all that money. 649 00:46:15,139 --> 00:46:16,639 You see that shit? 650 00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:20,099 Man, if that was a *** he'd be dead. 651 00:46:21,780 --> 00:46:25,409 Shit, you can't take $1, 000 from a *** without putting a hit on you. 652 00:46:28,079 --> 00:46:28,710 I'm for real. 653 00:46:28,710 --> 00:46:31,000 You borrow money from a white person, don't never give it back. 654 00:46:31,780 --> 00:46:34,210 "This is it. This is the last $30." 655 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:38,559 You borrow some money from a black person, 656 00:46:38,559 --> 00:46:40,409 they're gonna threaten you before they give it to you. 657 00:46:41,679 --> 00:46:43,710 "Let me tell you about my money, player. 658 00:46:49,380 --> 00:46:51,710 I works too hard for my stiff. 659 00:46:53,179 --> 00:46:54,679 You know what I mean? 660 00:46:55,579 --> 00:46:57,599 I started not to give it to you." 661 00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:03,909 You be like, "you know what, fuck you and that $20, all right? 662 00:47:04,579 --> 00:47:06,409 About to fucking lecture me, ***." 663 00:47:11,380 --> 00:47:15,300 The black people give you the money and tell everybody. 664 00:47:16,380 --> 00:47:19,409 "What you doing?" "Oh, nothing. Just gave Carlos $40. 665 00:47:20,380 --> 00:47:22,800 Doing pretty bad this week, man. 666 00:47:23,579 --> 00:47:25,909 You know, i guess god will bless me for it, you know what i mean?" 667 00:47:29,679 --> 00:47:31,269 And everybody got to do the right thing, 668 00:47:31,269 --> 00:47:32,909 You know what i mean, trying to look out for each other. 669 00:47:33,280 --> 00:47:35,650 You know what I'm saying? Shit, that's all we got around here, 670 00:47:35,650 --> 00:47:37,210 these motherfuckers, is each other. Shit. 671 00:47:37,679 --> 00:47:40,639 That's right. We ain't got none of the old folks no more. 672 00:47:40,650 --> 00:47:44,409 All these little, young kids, they fucked up. They ain't got no direction. 673 00:47:45,780 --> 00:47:46,679 Shit. 674 00:47:46,679 --> 00:47:50,750 These little kids is on everything: slurp, pills, Xanax, 675 00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:57,800 [Sings] Oxycontin, painkillers, cigarette, weed, Hennessey, vodka 676 00:48:00,469 --> 00:48:02,590 These little *** is Martians around here. 677 00:48:03,969 --> 00:48:06,000 They go through 19 emotions. 678 00:48:06,670 --> 00:48:07,889 You be like, "what's up, little Tony?" 679 00:48:07,889 --> 00:48:10,989 "I love you. Ohh! I feel..." 680 00:48:12,072 --> 00:48:13,572 be like, "what the fuck is wrong with you?" 681 00:48:15,269 --> 00:48:16,769 "I'm on everything." 682 00:48:24,170 --> 00:48:25,019 I'm retarded. 683 00:48:25,019 --> 00:48:26,900 I've been in special ed all my life. 684 00:48:28,570 --> 00:48:32,590 They have surrounded me around retarded kids all my life for nothing. 685 00:48:33,969 --> 00:48:35,840 For real, they said, "you retarded..." 686 00:48:35,900 --> 00:48:38,400 My mother said, "you was retarded when you was little. 687 00:48:38,969 --> 00:48:40,340 And you grew out of it." 688 00:48:40,340 --> 00:48:42,590 I said, "no, ain't no fucking growing out of it." 689 00:48:49,469 --> 00:48:51,590 I told her, "stop telling people that shit." 690 00:48:53,769 --> 00:48:55,900 "You was retarded and grew out of it." 691 00:48:57,570 --> 00:48:59,320 You don't fucking grow out of it. 692 00:48:59,349 --> 00:49:02,289 If i was retarded then, I'll be retarded now, right? 693 00:49:02,969 --> 00:49:04,849 Do i look retarded to any of y'all? 694 00:49:05,712 --> 00:49:08,500 Who's saying "yeah"? Fuck you, man. 695 00:49:09,570 --> 00:49:13,699 There's some retarded kids in here 'cause i seen the van pull up outside. 696 00:49:14,070 --> 00:49:16,363 They on a field trip, about six of them together. 697 00:49:19,769 --> 00:49:22,441 That's how retarded kids walk when they don't know where they going. 698 00:49:27,670 --> 00:49:29,170 "Toby, over here!" 699 00:49:32,070 --> 00:49:33,570 "Leave me alone. 700 00:49:34,570 --> 00:49:36,070 And get out of my face." 701 00:49:38,670 --> 00:49:40,280 I went to school with a *** named Junior. 702 00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:42,789 *** had a big old booty, wore corduroys every day. 703 00:49:44,070 --> 00:49:47,070 Corduroys and cardboard. You'd say, "what's up, Junior?" 704 00:49:47,079 --> 00:49:49,000 "Get out of my face and leave me alone." 705 00:49:50,170 --> 00:49:51,659 *** tongue always hanging out. 706 00:49:51,659 --> 00:49:53,159 "Leave me alone. Leave me alone." 707 00:49:59,070 --> 00:50:00,119 I walk in the bathroom. 708 00:50:00,119 --> 00:50:02,360 This *** done pull his pants all the way down, 709 00:50:02,369 --> 00:50:08,079 pissing like this, ass out, belt buckle, underwear, everything down there. 710 00:50:08,559 --> 00:50:10,190 I said, "man, unzip your shit!" 711 00:50:11,559 --> 00:50:13,059 "Leave me alone." 712 00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:20,190 This motherfucker, this dude pull a hot dog out his pocket, 713 00:50:20,860 --> 00:50:23,489 in the bun, ketchup, mustard, everything. 714 00:50:24,260 --> 00:50:27,780 I said, "did this motherfucker just pull a dressed hot dog out his pocket?" 715 00:50:28,159 --> 00:50:29,814 "Leave me alone." 716 00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:36,280 I stayed in special Ed. 717 00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:39,099 And the bell would ring, teacher, "sit back down." 718 00:50:39,099 --> 00:50:40,599 I said, "bitch, the bell just rang." 719 00:50:42,059 --> 00:50:43,130 "Put your helmet on." 720 00:50:43,130 --> 00:50:44,889 I said, "I'm not putting no motherfucking helmet on." 721 00:50:50,659 --> 00:50:52,630 I was in there with a *** had a hand like this, 722 00:50:52,630 --> 00:50:54,130 but the *** sing RandB. And he'd go -- 723 00:50:54,170 --> 00:50:58,489 [Sings] Baby 724 00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:03,190 And i really wanna love you 725 00:51:05,559 --> 00:51:08,579 I said, baby 726 00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,690 And I really want to love you 727 00:51:15,260 --> 00:51:16,349 Little hand be swinging. 728 00:51:16,349 --> 00:51:17,849 "You know girl?" 729 00:51:23,860 --> 00:51:25,632 G-i-i-r-l 730 00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:30,150 that's how he'd wipe the sweat off his head. 731 00:51:30,150 --> 00:51:31,650 "This next song is... 732 00:51:33,860 --> 00:51:35,579 One of my favorites." 733 00:51:37,059 --> 00:51:38,710 Sometimes he'd get sexy with it. 734 00:51:38,739 --> 00:51:40,452 He'd go... [Sings] Baby 735 00:51:48,860 --> 00:51:52,889 That's how he looked on his debut album, like this. 736 00:51:53,460 --> 00:51:55,489 His new debut album. 737 00:51:57,159 --> 00:51:58,991 "Where will I go now?" 738 00:52:05,650 --> 00:52:07,179 Y'all think I'm going to hell for that? 739 00:52:08,581 --> 00:52:10,090 And you going with me. You was laughing. 740 00:52:10,099 --> 00:52:14,480 [Sings] Baby 741 00:52:15,750 --> 00:52:17,809 that's how he be clever. "Come on, put them nubs together. 742 00:52:17,809 --> 00:52:19,309 Come on! 743 00:52:24,750 --> 00:52:27,570 You know, ladies..." 744 00:52:28,150 --> 00:52:30,503 [Sings] When I look into your eyes 745 00:52:34,050 --> 00:52:35,269 That's how he get a lot of women. 746 00:52:35,269 --> 00:52:37,389 He'd get the number with his back turned. 747 00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:38,900 "Put your number in the phone." 748 00:52:43,750 --> 00:52:46,101 They be getting the pussy. You don't see nothing but that hand. 749 00:52:47,849 --> 00:52:49,581 "What is that moving?" "Don't worry about it." 750 00:52:52,449 --> 00:52:55,380 Soon as the motherfucker come... [Sings] Baby 751 00:53:03,849 --> 00:53:06,559 There's a lot of big girls in here tonight. Where the big girls at? 752 00:53:09,353 --> 00:53:11,980 I'm gonna start pointing y'all's asses out. 753 00:53:12,449 --> 00:53:14,380 You don't want to make it known. 754 00:53:15,050 --> 00:53:17,679 I see your honeybun-smuggling ass up in here. 755 00:53:20,150 --> 00:53:22,480 I made a song for the big girls. Come on, y'all. Clap. 756 00:53:22,489 --> 00:53:24,000 We're gonna do the song for the big girls. 757 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:25,050 Come on now. 758 00:53:25,050 --> 00:53:27,380 Everybody got a big girl, you know what i mean? 759 00:53:27,389 --> 00:53:29,380 Some of y'all mamas is big girls. 760 00:53:29,849 --> 00:53:32,269 And some of y'all *** is big girls, too. Come on now. 761 00:53:34,485 --> 00:53:36,849 [Sings] I like big girls, I cannot lie. 762 00:53:36,880 --> 00:53:39,300 If you need a man baby, I'm that guy 763 00:53:39,309 --> 00:53:41,590 up in the club, V. I. P. 764 00:53:41,590 --> 00:53:44,239 big girls everywhere, and they lovin' me 765 00:53:44,250 --> 00:53:46,829 Yeah, I want a sandwich, I'll take two 766 00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:49,239 Put it in the kitchen, they know what to do. 767 00:53:49,250 --> 00:53:52,449 Lobster, chicken, biscuits, put it in the oven, 768 00:53:52,460 --> 00:53:55,099 Kool-Aid, pizza, damn, I love it 769 00:53:55,110 --> 00:53:57,630 Big girl, big job, big salary 770 00:53:57,639 --> 00:54:00,210 Big girls don't care about calories. 771 00:54:00,219 --> 00:54:02,489 Big girls, don't care who's looking. 772 00:54:02,500 --> 00:54:05,130 All they wanna know is, "damn, who cookin'?" 773 00:54:05,139 --> 00:54:07,354 I'm Mike Epps. Thank y'all, Detroit! 774 00:54:34,539 --> 00:54:38,199 - My boy Mike Epps, rapping the D, baby! 775 00:54:38,210 --> 00:54:40,340 Two sold-out shows. 776 00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:42,760 Fifth row, baby! I'll holler at you. 777 00:54:42,769 --> 00:54:44,269 Get at us, baby. 778 00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:47,199 - What up, Mike Epps? Welcome to Detroit, man. 779 00:54:47,210 --> 00:54:49,400 - Hey, mike man, much love man. 780 00:54:49,409 --> 00:54:53,030 You know y'all put us on the front street, but this is from the motor city. 781 00:54:53,039 --> 00:54:56,260 - Hey, Mike Epps, come to see you live from Detroit. 782 00:54:56,639 --> 00:55:00,451 We love you! - We love you, Mike. 783 00:55:05,799 --> 00:55:08,392 - We love you! - We love you, Mike! 784 00:55:10,695 --> 00:55:13,448 - We love you, Mike! Love you! 785 00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:20,670 - Hey, mike, man, much love, man. 786 00:55:20,679 --> 00:55:22,460 You know y'all put us on the front street, 787 00:55:22,519 --> 00:55:26,320 but this is from the motor city, the original, you know what i mean? 788 00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:28,170 And this is the way we do it, just like this. 789 00:55:28,179 --> 00:55:32,059 - Give him a spin-around. Let him know how you feel. 790 00:55:34,311 --> 00:55:37,099 - I'm here to see Mike Epps with his fine ass. 791 00:55:37,941 --> 00:55:41,059 - Mike, "35, 45, 55", all day long, baby. 792 00:55:42,050 --> 00:55:44,282 - That's what's up. 313 all day, baby. 793 00:55:44,282 --> 00:55:46,282 - What's up, 313? Mike Epps doing the real thing. 794 00:55:48,212 --> 00:55:50,230 - And we show up in our best when we have our guests. 795 00:55:51,039 --> 00:55:55,400 - Gonna do it real big, baby, Detroit style, you know what I'm saying? 796 00:55:55,409 --> 00:55:57,230 Everything is good in the hood. 797 00:55:57,239 --> 00:56:01,221 So let's go in, have a good time, party hardy. - Thank you. 798 00:56:01,221 --> 00:56:02,721 - You sexy, Mike Epps. 799 00:56:03,935 --> 00:56:06,820 - I think you're a motherfucking fool! 800 00:56:08,026 --> 00:56:10,150 - As you can see, the people are rolling in. 801 00:56:10,210 --> 00:56:12,840 I'm your roller-scooting news reporter G thang. 802 00:56:12,849 --> 00:56:15,949 Live in front of the Fox theatre in Detroit. 803 00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:20,809 It's nice. The people are piling in. No more tickets left. 804 00:56:20,820 --> 00:56:21,980 Mike ain't playing. 805 00:56:21,980 --> 00:56:24,079 It's going down, and look at this, my man. 806 00:56:24,090 --> 00:56:25,949 - About to hit the building, you know what I'm saying? 807 00:56:26,579 --> 00:56:28,651 What's up? This is my boy Mike Epps, you know what i'm saying? 808 00:56:28,651 --> 00:56:31,849 But you ought to get down here trying to do it, you know what I'm saying? 809 00:56:31,860 --> 00:56:33,199 Detroit style. 810 00:56:33,199 --> 00:56:35,550 One look, come on back, Mike, you know what I'm saying? 811 00:56:35,559 --> 00:56:39,960 - You heard him. - You're trying to keep it clean, baby. 812 00:56:43,230 --> 00:56:49,250 - Hey, baby. I'm trying to find the Fox. 813 00:56:49,730 --> 00:56:53,050 How do I get to the hood? 814 00:56:58,802 --> 00:57:00,634 This is the real Lil Wayne. 815 00:57:22,261 --> 00:57:23,673 How do I get to the Fox theatre? 816 00:57:23,673 --> 00:57:25,426 - You walking? - Who's walking with you? 817 00:57:25,426 --> 00:57:28,458 Me and Bin Laden's coming. We walking to the Fox! 818 00:57:31,849 --> 00:57:38,643 Marvin Gaye right here. This is Marvin Gaye right here! 819 00:57:38,643 --> 00:57:41,099 - Motown. - Motown, baby! 820 00:57:41,110 --> 00:57:42,719 - Nothing but winners up in here. 821 00:57:42,730 --> 00:57:44,230 - Nothing but winners. Let's do it. 822 00:57:47,329 --> 00:57:49,962 No, no, don't put none... - You don't like that extra-sexy? 823 00:57:55,429 --> 00:57:59,460 That looked like some liquid Drano you about to wipe on my... 824 00:58:00,219 --> 00:58:02,352 Do some of your Motown. You got any Motown? 825 00:58:10,619 --> 00:58:12,651 - All right, now, Motown! 826 00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:22,039 - How y'all get to the Fox theatre? 827 00:58:23,019 --> 00:58:25,539 - 45, 47! 45. - Oh man! 828 00:58:27,025 --> 00:58:28,856 - Is that your place? - No, this is. 829 00:58:28,856 --> 00:58:30,587 - This is the place right here. - Yeah. 830 00:58:30,587 --> 00:58:32,587 Or at least it is till next month. 831 00:58:35,072 --> 00:58:37,380 If I don't pay the bill, they real quick about that. 832 00:58:38,670 --> 00:58:40,682 - All right. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. 833 00:58:40,682 --> 00:58:42,682 - Thank you. - That's a Kodak moment. 834 00:58:43,420 --> 00:58:45,039 - I told you what I'm trying to do. 835 00:58:46,420 --> 00:58:47,920 The camera don't work. 836 00:58:54,719 --> 00:58:56,219 - Okay. 837 00:58:58,893 --> 00:59:01,385 What time do you take that mustache off? 838 00:59:05,024 --> 00:59:06,889 - Boxing history right here was made with this guy. 839 00:59:06,909 --> 00:59:09,821 Tommy Hearns' cast and crew right there. 840 00:59:11,572 --> 00:59:13,304 - I seen the stars on his eyes. 841 00:59:15,118 --> 00:59:16,730 - I be trying to hide them, brother. 842 00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:20,250 - Let me see what you got. - You know, you know. 843 00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:24,030 - Let me see if you still got that. 844 00:59:24,039 --> 00:59:25,539 Yeah, there you go. 845 00:59:29,804 --> 00:59:31,628 - Oh! Oh, my god! 846 00:59:31,628 --> 00:59:32,999 I'm a porno star, ma'am. Keep walking. 847 00:59:32,999 --> 00:59:34,480 - He ain't no, "fridays." You know. 848 00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:36,752 - Can you tell me how to get to the Fox? 849 00:59:36,752 --> 00:59:38,424 - Sure, i can take you there if you wish. 850 00:59:41,119 --> 00:59:42,691 - Damn, baby, let's do it. 851 00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:55,949 Now, this right here is what you call a real pimp getting his money 852 00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:58,739 on the phone, cussing a ho out. 853 00:59:58,750 --> 01:00:00,429 Here he come. 854 01:00:04,710 --> 01:00:07,329 Hey, you got to go in there and get you one of them brims. 855 01:00:07,809 --> 01:00:08,900 - Hey, don't i know you, man? 856 01:00:08,900 --> 01:00:10,400 - Mike Epps, man. 857 01:00:11,710 --> 01:00:13,210 Oh, they got me on TV. 858 01:00:15,084 --> 01:00:16,780 Mike Epps right here. What's happening, Mike? 859 01:00:16,909 --> 01:00:21,170 Welcome to the city. - That's a real Detroit player right here. 860 01:00:21,179 --> 01:00:22,679 - That's right. That's how we do it. 861 01:00:23,559 --> 01:00:26,570 He laced up. He gonna go in there and get him a job, you know what I'm saying? 862 01:00:26,570 --> 01:00:28,329 Let them know what they doing tonight. 863 01:00:28,409 --> 01:00:30,940 But this is what you call a real Detroit player right here. 864 01:00:31,010 --> 01:00:32,570 We just do it right, that's all. 865 01:00:32,579 --> 01:00:48,329 That's all right. That's all. 866 01:00:51,753 --> 01:00:52,793 - Say it again, man. 867 01:00:52,793 --> 01:00:54,293 How are they treating you, Red? - Like the redheaded stepchild with the flu. 868 01:01:00,132 --> 01:01:04,329 - Well, I knew i was gonna get me on a slick line out of here. 869 01:01:05,909 --> 01:01:08,769 - All I'm wondering, "where's the honey?" 870 01:01:08,769 --> 01:01:13,829 All you wondering, "where's the money?" 871 01:01:15,210 --> 01:01:16,329 Where's the Fox? 872 01:01:16,329 --> 01:01:19,829 Good to meet you, sir. 873 01:01:20,210 --> 01:01:23,763 - Just watched... - "Roscoe Jenkins"? 874 01:01:23,763 --> 01:01:25,763 - Yeah. It's on demand right now. 875 01:01:30,420 --> 01:01:31,699 - That was on TV? 876 01:01:31,699 --> 01:01:36,380 I might have a check in the mail or something in the next two days or something. 877 01:01:40,893 --> 01:01:43,024 [Sings] You got me up in 878 01:01:48,710 --> 01:01:51,440 Live in Detroit, baby! 879 01:01:51,909 --> 01:01:53,102 - All right, Mike. - All right. 880 01:01:53,102 --> 01:01:56,733 Mike. Good to have you in the city, man. 881 01:01:56,733 --> 01:01:58,733 Next time you come, I'll give you my number, man. 882 01:01:58,733 --> 01:02:00,733 I'll show you a nice time. 883 01:02:09,699 --> 01:02:11,199 - That's right. 884 01:02:16,869 --> 01:02:19,820 - You know what I'm saying? - The Detroit hood. 885 01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:27,510 - How do we get to the Fox theater from here? 886 01:02:27,519 --> 01:02:29,019 Ahh! I don't need to be downtown. 887 01:02:30,230 --> 01:02:32,539 "Ahh. You don't need to be downtown." 888 01:02:32,550 --> 01:02:37,639 I like how he talks. I like how he talks. He said, "aah! 889 01:02:38,429 --> 01:02:39,403 I don't need to be downtown." Tell them. 890 01:02:39,403 --> 01:02:41,403 - I don't need to be downtown. I stay in the hood. 891 01:02:41,539 --> 01:02:43,532 - What hood you from? 892 01:02:43,532 --> 01:02:45,532 - Four-one. - Four-one, baby. 893 01:02:49,099 --> 01:02:50,559 - You already know. 894 01:02:50,559 --> 01:02:52,469 Doesn't he look like Fredo from "the godfather"? 895 01:02:52,469 --> 01:02:54,050 - I'll have to rent it again. 896 01:02:54,079 --> 01:02:55,872 - One, two, or three? 897 01:02:55,872 --> 01:02:57,789 - One, two, and three. - One, two, and three. 898 01:02:58,309 --> 01:03:00,121 - Have a good one. Take care. Pleasure. 899 01:03:00,121 --> 01:03:02,110 - I got to see how fast you can catch me if I try to run right now. 900 01:03:03,281 --> 01:03:06,313 All right, let's go. Just one time. Ready? 901 01:03:12,091 --> 01:03:13,591 You've gotta try to snatch me. 902 01:03:18,900 --> 01:03:20,500 - How do you get to the Fox theatre from here? 903 01:03:20,510 --> 01:03:22,010 You're gonna go up here to Washington. 904 01:03:22,099 --> 01:03:24,980 - Uh-huh. - Adams and Woodward. 905 01:03:25,010 --> 01:03:26,510 And at Woodward, you'll see the fox theatre from there. 906 01:03:26,699 --> 01:03:29,851 - Are you doing a show tonight? - Yeah, I'm doing a show tonight. 907 01:03:29,851 --> 01:03:30,949 - Well, welcome to Detroit. 908 01:03:30,949 --> 01:03:33,342 - Was you able to see that with them green eyes? 909 01:03:38,800 --> 01:03:40,300 - All right. 910 01:03:41,651 --> 01:03:54,230 [Unintelligible speech] 911 01:03:55,699 --> 01:03:57,199 Mhm. 912 01:03:57,300 --> 01:03:58,000 Yeah. 913 01:03:58,000 --> 01:03:59,199 Yeah, 914 01:03:59,199 --> 01:04:01,920 - I'm not jumping up and down! There's a camera around! 915 01:04:02,489 --> 01:04:03,550 Thank you very much. 916 01:04:03,550 --> 01:04:05,050 It was a pleasure meeting you. You're awesome. You crack me up. 917 01:04:06,360 --> 01:04:07,811 I don't remember very many people. 918 01:04:07,811 --> 01:04:09,743 - What's going on, big baby?! - Good to see you, man. 919 01:04:10,889 --> 01:04:14,420 - Nice to meet y'all. Thanks for having us in front of your shit. 920 01:04:15,889 --> 01:04:19,420 Hey baby girl! 921 01:04:19,889 --> 01:04:22,161 Thank you, man. How you doing? - Holding on. 922 01:04:23,489 --> 01:04:26,309 Does this store have anything to do with prostitutes? 923 01:04:26,690 --> 01:04:32,809 Anything. I mean, any parts of prostitution. Just be honest. 924 01:04:33,190 --> 01:04:36,022 - It might have been back in the day, before we got here. 925 01:04:36,022 --> 01:04:38,022 - Back in the day. - Before we got here. 926 01:04:38,289 --> 01:04:44,110 - They've only been here since about 1950. - Okay. 927 01:04:44,119 --> 01:04:51,059 So I'm pretty sure that you can admit to me that this store had something to do 928 01:04:51,070 --> 01:04:54,719 with somebody getting slapped. 929 01:04:55,889 --> 01:04:57,719 - Yeah. - Yeah, I'm pretty sure of that. 930 01:04:57,730 --> 01:05:04,309 You will get the shit slapped out of you by somebody wearing this right here. 931 01:05:05,741 --> 01:05:09,659 You will get the taste slapped out of your mouth by somebody. 932 01:05:09,670 --> 01:05:13,809 If somebody jump out the car on you with this on, 933 01:05:14,389 --> 01:05:16,181 you better have their fucking money. 934 01:05:18,453 --> 01:05:21,664 This is pimp apparel. 935 01:05:24,889 --> 01:05:30,800 Some of them old players turn their back on you when they open their wallet. 936 01:05:30,809 --> 01:05:32,502 Here, I'm done. I was just fucking with you. 937 01:05:32,502 --> 01:05:34,002 Y'all know it. I was just messing with you. 938 01:05:35,545 --> 01:05:41,280 I came here looking for you, but... they said you was late, as usual. 939 01:05:43,130 --> 01:05:45,059 - Well, we love you for it. - I love you, too, man. 940 01:05:45,070 --> 01:05:49,110 Kick it real, kick it right down the middle. 941 01:05:50,190 --> 01:05:55,348 - That's my dawg, baby. - We've been knowing each other almost 30 years. 942 01:05:55,348 --> 01:06:00,699 Almost 30 years. Y'all only look like you're 30 years old. 943 01:06:01,079 --> 01:06:02,880 Talking about they've been knowing each other for 30 years. 944 01:06:04,829 --> 01:06:06,329 Both these mothers look 30. - We used to share a bottle. 945 01:06:08,052 --> 01:06:09,909 The barbershop, okay? 946 01:06:09,920 --> 01:06:12,789 That's where the real conversation's at. 947 01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:14,309 - And we don't lie about it. 948 01:06:14,320 --> 01:06:17,440 - You gonna get to really hear about the economy 949 01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:19,909 and if Obama gonna get the paper in there, ain't ya? 950 01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:22,411 - Oh, yeah. You hear about the lies, cries, and alibis. 951 01:06:26,179 --> 01:06:27,831 - Love to you, brother. - Ditto. 952 01:06:27,831 --> 01:06:29,380 - All right. - Mike, take care. 953 01:06:29,380 --> 01:06:30,480 All right, now. 954 01:06:30,480 --> 01:06:33,559 Little Jay Z, what's up? 955 01:06:33,570 --> 01:06:36,409 Oh, there's another one. 956 01:06:37,280 --> 01:06:39,019 All right, y'all have a good night now. 957 01:06:39,039 --> 01:06:41,099 Take care of your mama. 958 01:06:41,110 --> 01:06:46,710 The new mayor of DC, I heard you the new mayor. 959 01:06:47,079 --> 01:06:48,579 Rick Ross, what's up, baby? 960 01:07:11,786 --> 01:07:13,659 Gonna be fresh at Chuck-e-cheese this weekend. 961 01:07:13,659 --> 01:07:15,500 You gonna steal the show, brother. 962 01:07:16,079 --> 01:07:18,832 All the little kids gonna be like, "ooh, look at his fade. 963 01:07:18,832 --> 01:07:20,832 Look at his fade. Look at his fade. Look at his fade. Look at his fade. 964 01:07:21,460 --> 01:07:26,210 - Got Mike Epps up here right now. He's roasting people. 965 01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:31,139 I ain't bulling. He roasting, and i got on my uniform. Yeah. 966 01:07:31,150 --> 01:07:34,781 - Live, coming to you from the Motor city, downtown Detroit, 967 01:07:34,781 --> 01:07:37,210 me and my homey sitting back here chilling. 968 01:07:37,579 --> 01:07:40,802 That's right. On our way to the Fox theatre. 969 01:07:40,802 --> 01:07:44,239 - That's right. - It's Mike Epps in Detroit. 970 01:07:44,250 --> 01:07:45,750 Let's say it together. 971 01:07:46,980 --> 01:07:48,480 [Both] Bitch! 972 01:07:54,179 --> 01:07:57,500 - Hey man, I'm trying to find Fox. Where can i find it at, baby? 973 01:07:58,269 --> 01:07:58,960 - Oh, it's right down there. 974 01:07:58,960 --> 01:08:00,829 It is, but my girl gonna ride with us. You don't mind, do you? 975 01:08:01,059 --> 01:08:03,789 - Okay. 976 01:08:04,170 --> 01:08:07,059 Hey, man, i got a big show at the Fox tonight. 977 01:08:07,059 --> 01:08:08,559 It's going down. 978 01:08:22,470 --> 01:08:28,789 This is that shit right here, though. 979 01:08:29,170 --> 01:08:30,670 Fox theatre. 980 01:08:31,869 --> 01:08:33,819 I remember my first time playing here. 981 01:08:33,819 --> 01:08:36,229 I was so motherfucking excited I didn't know what to do. 982 01:08:36,829 --> 01:08:41,789 I'm excited now because I'm shooting my special here. 983 01:08:42,369 --> 01:08:45,500 Damn, I can't wait to do this show. 984 01:08:45,869 --> 01:08:50,539 I'm at the fabulous Fox theatre, the historical Fox theatre.. 985 01:08:50,550 --> 01:08:55,520 You know where Elvis Presley played, Stevie Wonder, Rolling Stones, 986 01:08:55,520 --> 01:09:00,350 Bobby "blue" Bland, B. B. King, and your man Mike Epps, baby. 987 01:09:00,359 --> 01:09:02,174 We at the famous Fox.